Two are better than one....

Do you ever fear that someone will discover who you really are? Do you ever hear a whisper try and shame you, calling you sinner and broken? Do you ever feel like there's going to a gotcha moment where all your un-seens will come spilling out- all the unchecked thoughts playing on matinee for the world to see and judge? 

Yep. For some reason (probably because I do wonder what people think of me and I want them to like me) I face this often. I find myself face to face with my own sin and even though I go to the Lord and ask forgiveness, I hear the shaming accuser whispering my failures. At times I feel at battle not only with my flesh and it's desire to do it's own thing but accepting the love and help from Christ. So many times I feel stuck and alone in this place, not knowing what to do- where to go- who I can share with. I'm embarrassed and the enemy knows that this has been my weakness. I try to fight alone. Then the whispers "just wait til someone sees you for who you really are...." 

Okay, then what??? The enemy is called a prowling lion seeking whom he may devour with words, accusations, and even questions that don't even finish. But he doesn't need to finish, he can just start me down the road of doubt and I am led easily by my own insecurities and feelings. And he has successfully gotten my focus on myself and off Jesus and others.

BUT NO MORE! 

GOD says that "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."(1 John 1:9) And James 5:16 says " confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." 

This is exactly the opposite of my fears. When I trust God with my heart and share my burden with my sister, friend, and/or husband the hold on that fear is broken. We are not all alone which is also why the Lord encourages by saying that "though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."(Eccl. 4:12) But it takes stepping out and being vulnerable. Taking a step and trusting that "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help."(Eccl. 4:9) 

Jesus knows my weakness. He knows I struggle in solitude and that I need fellowship and relationships. He knows that when my focus is on myself, I am deaf and blind to what he wants to show me. So he encourages me to step out and share. To let someone see the real me and trust HIM with the results. Yes my heart has been hurt but it's also been healed.

I know there is an encouragement in sharing with one another. Not everyone is safe to share with, but I believe the Lord will gives us someone who we can share with whether that's a mentor, friend, sister, or husband and maybe there are a few in our lives. But we also need to be that for others. To be transparent. The more I share my fears and confess my sins, the easier it gets, and we draw closer to the Lord as well as those relationships we share in. We are made to be in relationship with each other- to invest in each others lives. The best investment we can make is to be authentic and share Jesus by loving one another and extending grace and encouragement.

Do you have someone you can confide in and show the real you to? Are you extending yourself to someone else so they have a safe place to share?

Jesus, please meet us where we are. Meet us here where we feel weak and alone. Be a light in our darkness and show us your way. You know us completely Lord, and there is nothing hidden from you. Help us to step out and trust you when you say you forgive us, and to be bold enough to stand strong against the enemy. Please, break the hold of the enemy by bringing us into fellowship with you. Help us to know where our strength is and that You who are in us, are greater than he who is in the world.  Amen.

He Makes Himself Known

If there was one thing I think that I am having to learn right now it's focus. I believe Jesus put a huge emphasis on it when he was with his disciples and I am starting to realize how important it is.It challenges me and I realize how distracted I am ad how easy it is to lose focus.

I have been in a bible study this year on the character of God. How can I be closer to a God I want to know if I am not willing to take the time to discover and learn who he is. He has made himself known to everyone by creation but he has also made Himself known through history in his word. Not only that, the word became flesh in Jesus so that we could tangibly see and know him. He wants to be known. He makes Himself known. He makes it possible for me to know Him.

While Jesus lived, I believe he came to seek, save, teach and reveal. He came to seek out those who would follow, save those who would believe in him, teach those who would learn and follow his teaching, and reveal the plan of the Father to the people he loves so much. One thing that stands out to me is that Jesus challenged those he called to focus. To keep their eyes on him. First he needed to challenge their faith. Who did they really believe in. Was their faith in him or simply because he did miracles? One challenge of faith was while they were out to sea and the storm was raging while Jesus slept and the Disciples were afraid. He awoke to tell the wind and storm to be silent and they obeyed bringing calm. The disciples were a bunch who were willing, but so many times let the circumstances around them weaken their resolve and faith in the power and person of Jesus. Another instance is when Jesus walked out on the water and Peter asked if he could meet him there in the waves. Jesus told him to come and Peter jumped out of the boat and walked toward Jesus on the water. However, he took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink. He lost his focus. He let his faith take back seat because of the current circumstance. BUT JESUS reaches out and grabs him and reminds him to not look at what is around him but to focus on the one who can save him. And yet another time that comes to mind where the disciples were really challenged was when they went to the garden to pray with and keep watch with Jesus. How easily they fell into sleep and Jesus came back to remind them again and again to focus. To focus on and be determined to not weaken, but to be aware and stay strong. The only way that was to happen is if they learned how to actively seek God and pursue him.

Every once in awhile I will get a glimpse of where I have come from. Sometimes it's a glimpse that leads to feeling regret and other times it's being absolutely thankful that I am no longer there and that God loved me so much to never let me go. He called me back. He challenged me to focus in on Him. If I were to look at those moments in my past where some might have called me a back slider, a hypocrite, or that I just walked away from the Lord. But I look back and see it was my focus or  really where I wasn't focused. Jesus never left me, if fact he was there always. All the time I struggled because I knew he was there. It was evident, but at some point I lost my focus. He was no longer the most important thing, I was. My happiness, my struggles, my desires. It was all about me and my current circumstances which led me to fear in every direction. What if? What now? Will I ever?  It was only when I got to an absolute end and had no where to go that the Lord gently asked, "Are you done? Will you trust me and look to me?" It's here that I realize I had taken my eyes off him. In doing so I sank into the waves and was scared and yes tried to save myself in the process by trying to grab anything in reach. But Jesus put out this hand and grabbed mine so that I could focus back on who seeks and saves the lost. I have not chosen Jesus every time, Most of the time I choose myself and that is an ugly detail, not a super spiritual one, but it's true. However, the beautiful truth is that HE CHOSE ME. He loves me. He wants to teach me to be more like him. He wants to show me himself so I can have security in him and that I don't have to look to myself for the answers I don't have. And either do you. He looks at you the same way he looks at me, as a Friend, Father and Savior. 

Every day I get a choice as to where I will focus, how I will respond to him. Will I focus on where I want to be or what I don't have? Or will I focus on the one thing that never changes-on Him-Jesus. He is the one thing that remains in absolute control. Will I choose to thank him for the gifts he has given me and do the best I can today, now for his glory? Will I trust that he didn't make a mistake by calling me as his own and choosing me before I was even conceived? If I focus on him, I can stand in confidence of his control and that he holds everything together For His Glory. This is what I am learning about His Sovereignty. He knows all, controls all, and rules over all. I think that's a great place to focus.

"Looking to Jesus the founder and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." 

-Hebrews 12:2

Searching for a Super Hero?

What makes us so drawn to super hero's? I mean we all know that a man can't really leap from tall buildings in a single bound the same way Superman did or that we will ever look up and declare "it's a bird, it's a plane, it's Superman!." Yet, we are drawn into the idea that there is a savior of some kind and we hope that we will catch a glimpse of him believing that our lives would be forever changed.

The funny thing about all loved super hero's though, is that they have a weakness whether it's kryptonite or Delilah(I consider Samson a super hero), but regardless of that, wait no- because of that, we think more of them and not less. They remind us of what we would like to become in spite of ourselves as they rise against all odds of human nature. I think it helps us to think that we can too.

If I could come up with a super hero and describe him(because in my mind My super hero is a dude), I have a list of what I think he would be like. He would be kind, patient, just and looking out for those who are weak and need help. He would seek to help the poor and correct those who take advantage of the them. He would be a leader who brings out the best in those around him. He is one who doesn't seek fame, fortune, or popularity. My hero would have compassion in the midst of justice and wouldn't set out with revenge as his compass. And lastly, I want to trust and believe that if I were ever in peril of any kind my hero would move heaven and earth to rescue me.

As I write this list and compile the traits that mean the most to me, I see the dots connect. Do you? I realize that as I have been thinking about this whole super hero thing, I already have one. No I am not crazy and it's not Superman or the Arrow. (Gotta love a good super hero flick though).

My super hero goes by the name Jesus. And before you roll your eyes, let me tell you why. All the qualities I just listed(and more), he has.

First of all, he sacrificed his fellowship with his father by coming down to earth, born humbly he grew without fame or fortune(John 17:4&5, Luke 2:11-20). When it was his time to step out and lead, he led by example having compassion on the sick, needy and lost(Luke 4:38-41). He never turned away anyone who needed to be found and he loved wholly and heartily(Luke  4:42-44). He encouraged children to come and he lifted the broken in spirit. Also he was just and rebuked those that took advantage of the poor(Matthew 21:12), but also gave them a chance to change. Jesus served, he loved, he saved, and he gave everything. He faced great opposition for doing good(Mark 3:1-6), for doing the will of his heavenly father(Luke 5:17-26). When it was time to fulfill the promise of life, he humbly went to the cross bearing it with more courage than I can even imagine(Hebrews 12:2), continuing to be an example of standing for what is right. That day he gave his life in exchange for mine. He paid the ransom I could not pay, paying my debt of sin. By doing so, he gave me life so I wonder, how can I not live my life for him now?

And it's not done. The cross wasn't the end because just when you think a super hero has been lost or killed never to be seen or heard again, they come back. AND HE DID! Really! The bible says it so I believe it(Luke 24:1-4). It's my only hope, because I know there simply has to be more beyond this life, and deep inside I want to be more. I want to be more brave, humble, caring, patient, good, pure, and wise but guess what? I am no where close to being any good at any of those things because I know me, and I know I am selfish and weak and I cannot save myself. I need a super hero.

The thing is, Jesus is everything I want to be and he made a promise. He promised that 1. He would come back after his death(and he did), and 2. that he would send a helper to be with me and help me to become more like him(John 14:15-18,25-26). He promised that by belief, faith in Him,  I can be the things he was on this earth(John 15:5).

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." -Ephesians 2:8&9

If I could believe in and be like any super hero of all time, I would choose Jesus. Many people may not consider him a super hero, but I think he's the very best kind of super hero. He's actually real! He wasn't flashy and he certainly didn't wear a cape, but he was simply himself doing what he came to do. To live, give and love those he came to know and would know. Even though it looked like he lost a great deal when he left this earth, he gained so much more than we can imagine.

"He is seated at the right hand of the Father where he has received the crown of glory and righteousness." -Ephesians 1:19-21

What's more is that he saves me everyday. He continues to intercede when my own sin and  weakness cause me to be overcome and I fail at the things I most want to do and be. Jesus continues to work on my behalf so that I can say that even though I am weak, I am strong. He rescued me, saved me, and strengthens me. He is the very best kind of Superhero.

Choosing Purity

As I was reading through 1 Peter , I got stuck on chapter 2 verse 9 which says "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light". I started to think of when I became a mom for the first time. I had always thought I had good discretion but when I had my first son, I soon discovered, along with a love I had never experienced before, I had momma vision. I discovered I was sensitive to everything and appalled at what I had considered ok before my kids. From words used around the house to certain videos and cartoons. It was eye opening.

As my husband I and I talked about how we wanted to raise our kids, it was our heart to help them anyway we can to keep their way pure and to grow up with wisdom. We taught our kids  the song “Careful little eyes what you see, careful little ears what you hear” and many times they would question why they could not watch a certain show or do something they saw other kids do. We looked at this as an opportunity to talk though the reasons and about guarding their hearts and minds, knowing there would be a day coming soon where they would have to start to process all of this on their own. The older they have become we have been able to talk more about Gods perspective, and to talk through what God would say about something. To use His word as a standard. We do this because we love them and we want what is best for them.

And so, my heavenly Father also has a lesson for me. Just this last fall I felt the tug on my heart to turn off a program I had watched for years. At first I felt like “Why Lord? It’s not bad.” but then He answered my heart with, “but is it good?” Careful little eyes what you see, careful little ears what you hear.

If I look at it the way He does, He is right. It is not pure, patient, kind, and does not reflect Gods character. So I obey, and turn it off. And there’s more areas He’s touching in my life and I ask “but it isn’t  bad”. And He has continued to respond with “But is it good?” Oh the tantrum going on in my heart.

I wrestle in my heart. In a way I feel like he is preventing me from “down time” or a little mindless entertainment- “me time”, and my flesh wars against the spirit over obedience and trust.

I am being called out to respond and it’s challenging. Just as I desire wisdom and truth for my kids and how I hope they can trust me in this training, The Lord desires wisdom, purity and obedience for me. He wants me to trust Him to willingly lay down what He convicts me of and to live in His light.

“I am chosen, set aside as God’s very own. He has called me out of the darkness and into His wonderful light.” -1 Peter 2:9

One of many verses I have come across lately confirms His desire for me, It’s Romans 12:2 which says “ Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

My challenge is to not seek my own way that seems right and good, but to trust His leading and to be sensitive to it. To have a spiritually correct  perspective about joy, contentment, and Godly pleasure. To be holy just as He is holy. To be at peace with not fitting into the world around me but to be looking for opportunities to die to my flesh and grow a little closer to Him. To be a light in my decisions in my home and in the world.

Paul never said it would be easy to stay pure, in fact he said in 1 Timothy 6:12 to: “fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life to which you were called.” It’s hard, and I know I am not alone in this challenge. We serve a God who is good, faithful and forgiving, and HE WILL give more opportunities, to obey and to trust Him even when we are struggling to do so.